First Day of School

Yesterday was the first day of school for my boy and girl. My boy is in K1 this year and girl in nursery. Both have been attending the same school for the past half a year, so there is no problem with them settling in at all.

But the same cannot be said for some of the boys in TC’s class. One was whinning and hanging on to the mother’s leg. Another one started crying when the mum left. Two other boys were affected by the crying and started to cry themselves. It’s funny that only the boys cry while the girls were covering their ears due to the noise. My boy was happily socialising with his friends whom he has not seen for one and a half month.

I would say he has come a long way since he started school. I first sent him to a 3-hr playgroup in Beijing when he was about 20 months and that was a tramatizing experience for me. He would cry so much before I left him, 10 times worst than what the whinny boy is doing. He would not let go of my leg. He would not join in any activities and kept crying. The teachers would give him water to calm him now. And u can imagine how much water he drank during that 3 hours as he kept urinating non-stop.  When I picked him up at the end, he would always look so worn out crying, and would start to cry his lungs out once he saw me. Terrible terrible experience.

Back in Singapore, he started nursery with a childcare next to my office. This time, he was older and better. Cried and cringly for about 2 weeks and then finally resigned to fate. But in the first few days, my heart really felt sore seeing him cry so hard and there was nothing I could do. I would go to office teary eye for the first few days.

Somehow, for my girl who has always been more independent. None of this happened. She whinned a little for the first few days and after that she was alright from the 4th day onwards. Perhaps, she has the brother for company or perhaps she is not new to the idea of schooling.

But I get to understand that most of the time, when the mother cannot let go, the child will find it the hardest. That probably explain why it took longer for my son to settle down. He could probably felt my anxiety.  The more I assure him and talk about it, the more anxious he felt.

So for the mother whose son kept clinging to you – pls leave the classroom. He will stop the moment u step out.

The Time-Out Game

I have ranked Playdough as the 3rd most wonderful invention in the world after epidural and the pacifier.

Why? Because it is the only game that can give me time-out for more than half an hour to 1 hour. Wonderful, isn’t it? 

 

Kid’s Carbonara

You won’t go wrong with this simple and idiot-proven recipe.

Portion: Serves 2 to 3 kids

Ingredients: 1) Pasta – 200g, 2) Ham – 2 slices, 3) cheddar cheese – 2 slices, 4) 150 ml milk or fresh cream, 5) 1 egg, 6) Broccoli – 2 florets, 7) Carrot – half 8) Onion or garlic 9) Minced chicken – optional

Steps:

1) Cook pasta until al dente. Cut broccoli and carrot into small pieces and steam them.

2) With low heat, add some olive oil, fry some chopped onions or garlic until soft. Add in ham and minced chicken (seasoned with a bit of salt, pepper and very importanlty. starch).  Heat and melt the cheese in another section of the pan with low heat. Add in milk slowly and stir until starting to boil. Then add in the egg and stir very slowly in low heat.

3) When the mixture thickens, off the heat and stirs in the vegetables and pasta.

Enrichment for toddlers?

I have been struggling on this for a while.

If u notice, it’s a trend now for parents to send their kids to weekend classes of all sorts from as young as 18 month-olds.  I used to do that when I was a stay-at-home-mum. I sent both of them once a week to some right brain programme that’s suppose to stimulate and develop their right brain. But I have since stopped all classes since I started working. Coz it’s too much of a hassle plus I am not sure whether they would really benefit from it.

A poll with friends over the holiday seasons made me worried. They are sending their toddlers to at least 3 or 4 classes weekly including subjects such as Phonics, Chinese, and activities including swimming, ballet and music. I can imagine how hectic their weekly schedule can be. Which is why I am hestitant to take that plunge.

I thought the schools should teach them these things. But no, children today, armed with the “extra” enrichment class are most of the time performing ahead of the curriculum in school.

I am panicking a bit because my boy still hasn’t really learnt how to write his name. He will be K1 (5 years old) this new year.  And he doesn’t seem to recognise the alphabets yet, not to mention about phonics and reading. I attempted to teach him from scratch at home but it has not been easy because we would end up arguing what he needs to do.

Thus in the end I might have no choice but to selectively send him to some classes. I don’t want to be one of those kiasu parents and I know life would get very hectic for all of us.  

But can someone pls tell me if he is already behind or it’s ok to let him take his own pace.

December Mood

It’s been a while since I’ve written. A few things happened since the last update. 1) My promotion didn’t happen (not sure if it’s a blessing in disguise) ; 2) My relationship with my in-laws improved at least at the surface level.  

December has been an uneventful month. I have tried taking a few days leave here and there to be with the kids at home but I realised that when I do that, I always end up screaming and disciplining them instead of enjoying what others termed “quality time”. Going back to office has become a relief for me. It has become a refuge for me from the chaos at home. Which is bad.

December will be a time to make resolutions for next year. One top priority in the list would be to seriously spend time with TC and YW each day to coach or teach them something new. I guess this is something that is lacking today and I really need to do something about it.

Milestone

This week, we crossed another milestone.

It’s school holidays and I have signed up TC to participate in the 4-days excursion. The school will be bringing them to heritage tour in Little India, visit Singpaore Discovery Centre, watch Gingerbread Man, and will also conduct a Chinese Culture class.

The boy is out in the world on his own, without me accompanying. That’s the milestone I am talking about. That is a great deal considering that one and a half years back, when I just started working, TC and YW cried almost every morning without fail before I go off to work. And this happened for almost half a year before they realise that their mother is never going to stop working.

For me, the transition is also hard. From being together with your children every minute of the day, to parting with them for three quarters of the time.  It’s as tough for me as it is for them.

But I’m glad to say that today, both of them are more independent, less clingy to me but still as naughty as ever.

Cross Road

Back to the topic on work arrangement.  My boss has suggested that I worked one day from home and for other days, I can come in early and leave at 5:30pm officially.

I agreed. This is within the framework of company policies. I think this is fair coz than everything will be official and I won’t be perceived as been given special treatment.

Along the discussion, something unexpected came along. My boss x 3 has requested another dpt’s boss to talk to me about a higher post. That would mean promotion for me to middle management.

I’m not sure whether I really want the promotion at this stage. It means i) more responsibilities ii) less flexible work arrangement iii) different boss iv) less time with kids. But rejecting this would be that I have to kiss goodbye to a higher pay check and more importantly, as my current boss pointed out, if I say no now, I will not be promoted for another 2, 3 years or longer. As he has put it, it’s a once-in-a-life-time opportunity.

To me, I don’t really care about the higher pay, the only reason that may make me accept it would be the fact that this really appeals to my ego.  When I joined a year back, I know I am accepting something lower than my capability and experience, all my peers are already ahead of me in the company. And I told myself I would work hard to get promoted within a couple of years. Didn’t know it would be so soon.

Feel like I am at the cross road again.  I hate making decisions…

Bedtime Stories

Children love repetition. I have been made to tell the same Cinderella story over and over again for the past 2 weeks at bedtime, and sometimes twice per nite. I guess they like the predictability that it brings.

Stories that feature a victim and a villian are also well received.  Stories such as Snow White, Cinderella, Gollilocks top the chart – mmy kids just love to listen to them over and over again.

So, to make life more interesting for me, each time I tell the same story, I improvised or changed it a little, such as adding a little bit more character to the background characters.

I find that I’ve gone a bit too much when my kids unanimously complained when I tried to change Snow White’s name to Snow Black last nite. Hiak Hiak Hiak… 

Monday Delights

Yesterday was a very happy day for the team and myself. 

First, our project fund got approved by the management. This means a lot to the team who has been working very hard the past few months working out the strategy, network planning and numbers.

Second, for myself, I got an appreciation email directly from my boss x 4. It feels great if you know what it means. First this boss have 500 people under him and if he can remember your name, it would already have meant something. Not to say about writing a direct email to show appreciation.

Third, I had an open discussion with my boss about my request to work part time. He started off the discussion by saying that I have done good work and have good prospect in the department. Doing part-time would be a career suicide. I was frank with him, I told him I am quite clear about my priorities in life. Nevertheless, he suggested a more moderated approach. He suggested a more flexible work arrangement for me, whereby I can leave earlier or work from home one or two days a week.

Four, back at home, the heat between myself and the “out-laws” has simmered down. Both sides act as if nothing has happened. For someone who hates open conflict, this is already the best that could happen.

Today’s my son’s birthday. A milestone for me, since life changes 4 years ago when this devil was borne. I am going to celebrate what I’ve done these 4 years today.

Singaporean workers – never say no

We have been preparing business case for this very huge project, which has been dragging on for months and months.  Finally on Monday, we managed to get the big towkay to say ok after months of questions and scenario studies. He wants the paper by next Monday.  I told my boss this is near impossible coz we need to redo all the numbers i.e. the Engineering needs to redo their network planning and finance needs to run through their number. We can’t turn around in 2 days. He has to manage his boss’s expectation.

 But my boss reply is: “we chase the big boss and now he say yes, we cannot say no. We must at least try and then if cannot, we say this part or that part is not ready”.

That’s the mentality of Singaporean workers. Dare not say no.

I have the privilege of working with Europeans in my previous job at the hospital and I really like their style of knowing what are their rights as an employee. They are not afraid to tell their boss “no”.

There was this incident when the GM wants us to work on half-day on saturdays. The whole marketing department got together and told the boss “no, we don’t see any value-add in that”. The boss relented finally. It was an eye-opener and sort of a culture shock for me then.

I think Singaporeans need to work a little smarter, know their rights in the work place and stop saying “yes” without thinking to the bosses’ requests. There will be more balance and everyone will be happier.